New CEO
	Selsby Corp. has elected Dr. Josh (pictured left) as new CEO. 03/03/2003

New Office Addition
	Keeping our people happy is the top priority at Selsby. Our new addition of a bar right in the very heart of our office will keep up morale and a fine social scene for all. After all, if your employees are socially inept, then you and your company will fail miserably. This is Bill (pictured left) our bartender/admin/copy clerk.

Criminals Arrested
	Two young men (Shawn-top, Neisha-bottom) were detained after releasing toxic (methane) fumes while sitting in the lobby of Selsby headquarters. The jury found them super guilty in federal court. They have both been sentenced to be corked.

Community Effort
	To be a part of Selsby, is to be a part of the community. Selsby employees’ recent efforts to help the local Habitat for Humanity put the finishing touches on the new brothel have stimulated much growth in the neighborhood.